What is it that you want? And where are you looking for it? Fulfilling our desires is a transient thing. But finding ourselves in a space of gratitude and contentment will open your heart and mind to receiving the change you seek. The answer rests inside.
Today is the official release of my newest book: destressifying – The Real-World Guide to Personal Empowerment, Lasting Fulfillment, and Peace of Mind.
I am deeply grateful for your support over the past year as I was writing destressifying, and over these past few weeks while the book was in pre-sale mode. Thank you for keeping the energy flowing between us and for helping make destressifying a best-seller!
The book is now available in digital format & paperback on amazon.com; and additionally as an audiobook on hayhouse.com. Autographed copies are available exclusively on davidji.com. If you haven’t yet added destressifying to your personal library, I encourage you to select the format that most resonates with you. ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY!
The wisdom buy winstrol contained in destressifying has proven to be a powerful success tool for high achievers (maybe that’s you!); so feel free to share the teachings with that special person in your life – or indulge yourself & spark your life to the next level!!!
This edition of The Source contains a powerful teaching to help you transcend the illusion of Fear & step into happiness. F.E.A.R. False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. – is simply a projection of what the future may hold. A guess. A wish. A moment where we believe we are clairvoyant.
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And yet we block our happiness when we hold our fears to be real. They freeze us. They frighten us. They hold us back from moving forward. They hold us in this fantasy world where we believe that what we’ve made up will indeed come to pass. They are as real to us as anything that’s actually happened.
But they are the darkest pieces of our imagination. They are the inventions of the part of us that does not trust. And so we repeat them like affirmations over and over in our mind until they harden like concrete. And even though they may never come to pass, we hold onto them with deep faith, so that if they do happen, we prove ourselves right and if they don’t come true, we have become so fixed on them that we are blind to the beauty that does unfold.
“destressifying is a fountain of resources for attaining mastery over your emotions & your life!” –Frank Elaridi, Emmy Award-winning journalist & author of The Enlightened Barista
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Our natural state is one of happiness!! Yet, fear obscures the opportunity that sits right before us. Fear colors every thought that has the potential to sprout into magnificence. As the Buddha said, “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we create our world.”
And when we convince ourselves that what we want to happen won’t and what we don’t want to happen will, then we turn our back on happiness & become a victim of our fantasies.
But we are better than that. We are stronger than that. We are more capable and blessed than we give ourselves credit for – and when we surrender to fear it is because we don’t trust. We don’t trust in the divine…we don’t trust our choices…and we don’t trust ourselves to make right decisions. There is a struggle within each of us where the worst possible scenario battles the best possible scenario for attention in a given moment. But happiness is a choice! And we must remind ourselves that we have a choice in each moment…that we can choose the best outcome or the most painful outcome. And whatever we end up choosing, will become the seed for the next moment, hour, or rest of our day – and ultimately the rest of our life!!!
“davidji is a master teacher who illuminates a better way to be human.” –Shawn Achor, New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Advantage
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Through the daily practice where we use the tools of destressifying – meditating, choosing positivity, connecting with our true needs, mastering our emotions, communicating consciously, & living with purpose – we can align with our own innate pure, perfect, wholeness where we can make choices without the conditioned negativity of our past. We can make choices from an abundance mentality rather than a poverty consciousness. We can direct our thoughts to the land of pure potentiality instead of the place of limiting beliefs.
And so when we find ourselves questioning our judgment. When we hear the voice in our head telling us we are less than or not worthy, we need to know that the word TRUST can be re-configured into STRUT! And that’s how we step into our Power…by giving yourself permission to strut, to believe again, to open our heart to the possibility that whatever negativity you can dream up is False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. and can easily be offset by a positive internal conversation.
Simply use the mantra, “When I let go of who I am, I become who I might be” and you will find yourself trusting more, dying to the past, and STEPPING into your power. How about we try it just for the week. Send me an email with a fear you are working on right now and let’s see if we can replace it with your new vision, your new dream. A new you that is ready to STRUT and create your new world.
“San Kalpa” is an intention, a positive affirmation. Plant an intention you’d like to see unfold. Invite it into your awareness. Welcome it, and open yourself to your destiny. Let’s make dreams come true. What does it mean to plant the seeds in fertile soil? It means inviting your intentions into the nourishing womb of creation that rests within and finding your destiny. It means selecting one intention at a time and giving yourself the room to marinate on it in stillness and silence. Creating a ritual is key to making things stick, and setting intentions is no different than introducing any other positive behavior into your daily routine. Remember: chances are higher if you select your intentions with honesty and authenticity – so take it slow and breathe with patience.
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This week, we dive into awareness which is our fully present attention on a particular aspect of our existence. Our awareness can be on:
Most often – in spite of where we are or what’s going on – we are in our heads and our awareness is on the non-stop flow of thoughts & feelings. (60,000 -80,000 every day!!!)
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The same is true for when we meditate. Whenever we meditate, after a few moments of present-moment-awareness, we will quickly drift to the thought of the moment and then follow it around a bit. This is normal!! This is what it’s like to have a brain in this human body of ours.
So whether we are meditating or in our normal waking state, the same experience occurs. Thoughts pour in and we can begin to feel overwhelmed by them. We start making lists in our heads, replaying a conversation in our mind, visualize ourselves doing something in the past or fantasize about something yet to unfold in the future. This often manifests in our body & our mind as stress. And from this seed of stress, we make poor decisions, react in a conditioned way, lash out or shut down, or become frozen.
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But if we can have the subtle intention to connect to nature the very moment we begin to feel the first wave of stress, then we can effortlessly relax the potential constriction and provide ourselves with some breathing room. There are literally a million ways we can become aware of & commune with nature – so here are a few easy steps to get the process started:
Whenever we drift our attention to nature, as long as we are in observer mode and are mindful of the moment, we recognize the interconnectedness of our essence with every other strand of existence. The flower came from the earth; the earth is filled with rain water, pollen, decomposed leaves, insects, and every other fragment of life; the wind is filled with the cells of every other being and the breath of everyone who has ever lived.
This is our aham brahmasmi moment! (Where you remind yourself “I am the universe.”) With each breath we take, we breathe in centuries of exhales from those we revere and respect – the Buddha, Jesus Christ, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington Carver, Mother Teresa, Einstein, Joan of Arc, Rosa Parks – and anyone else who has lived on earth.
It’s in these moments of awareness of union – one-ness – merging, that our very existence becomes eternal. In that moment, we are timeless – never born…never died. And that is the magnificence of awareness, which we can invoke and awaken whenever we choose. So, this week, let’s commune with the infinite nature of our being and in that process…we will become one.
I hope you’ll visit with me on Hay House Radio or at one of my retreats… and in the meantime, I’ll see you in the gap! Peace. -davidji
Photo Credit: h.koppdelaney via Compfight cc
This weekend, let’s flow our prana life force, merge our physical body with our environment and allow our spiritbody to connect with the world outside.
Excerpted from “destressifying: The Real-World Guide to Personal Empowerment, Lasting Fulfillment, and Peace of Mind” Chapter 8, pages 172-176.
As you move through each day, you’ll realize that other people’s emotions are projected to you more subtly than your own, and they become more difficult for you to read. (Whether people are extroverted or introverted will determine how prone they are to publicly expressing their emotions or concealing them.) But mastering your own emotions will lay some fertile groundwork for you to detect the nuanced emotional expressions of others.
Remember that when you are calm and relaxed, you have a much better handle on your own emotions than when you’re agitated, anxious, angry, or stressed. Imagine how blind some people are to their own and others’ emotions when they are living in states of chronic stress. Think back to your last stressful moment. Do you remember how oblivious you were to your own emotions at the time? You were probably at an emotionally intelligent low— and were not even thinking about anyone else’s emotions.
Remember, it’s not the event—it’s our interpretation of the event that triggers emotion. For example, the emotion of fear usually occurs in response to a threat, real or imagined. Our understanding and internal labeling of the concept of “being in danger” (based on our interpretations of the past and our interpretation of the moment) is the trigger that arouses our autonomic nervous system.
So if you don’t view a person or experience as “dangerous” or “threatening,” your bodymind will treat it as a non-threat. Having faith that the next moment will be better can quickly shift your mind-set regarding the true danger right now. That’s why your belief that there will be another moment in the future where the pain subsides is critical. You just have to know . . . to realize . . . to truly understand that unless someone is about to kill you, the stress of the moment is probably noncritical.
In order to destressify, we have to be able to recognize the first spark of emotion before it devolves into emotional overload, which actually disconnects us from our feelings. Without an awareness of what we’re feeling, it’s impossible to fully understand our own behavior, appropriately manage our emotions and actions, and accurately “read” the wants and needs of others. Moment-to-moment awareness of the influence our emotions have on our thoughts and actions is key to destressifying.
Many people are disconnected from their feelings—especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, frustration, and resentment. This may be the result of negative childhood experiences that conditioned us to lash out or shut down. But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can’t eliminate them. They’re still there, whether we’re aware of them or not . And without emotional awareness, we are unable to release those feelings, manage our stress, fully understand our own motivations and needs, or communicate effectively with others.
Through the power of enhanced emotional awareness, you are able to do all this:
• Recognize and rein in your emotional stress
• Understand and empathize with others
• Communicate clearly and effectively
• Make wiser decisions based on the things that are most important to you
• Get motivated and take action to meet goals
• Build strong, healthy, and rewarding relationships
All emotions are good for us . . . if we listen to the message. The benefits of “negative” emotions are that they are telling us something or advising us on our next step. If we don’t absorb their messages, we are wallowing in our negative, painful emotions for no reason and suffering unnecessarily. Fear can put a stranglehold on us, preventing us from moving in any direction. But it also wakes us up to the possibilities around us. If we use it as a tool rather than as a noose, it can enlighten us about where we stand in a given moment. Fear is a symptom, just like sadness is a symptom—a symptom that somewhere you have leaned away from balance.
When you sense fear, pay attention, but don’t stay frozen. Learn from it, and either summon courage to confront it or choose another path. Anger obviously has its downside when it’s unfocused rage.
But it has a deeper, more powerful, positive upside. Anger can be the spark that kicks us in the butt, the inspiration we need to leap out of self-pity or less-than thinking and take action. Sadness also has an upside. I’ve often said that visiting the land of hurts and wounds is healthy and soothing once in a while, but no one benefits long-term by living there. Chronic sadness can devolve into depression. But in-the-moment sadness is a healthy message to pay attention to how we feel. Sadness encourages us to take some time, slow down, and accept our vulnerability rather than creating a hard, false, protective shell. Sadness allows us to grieve, survive, and ultimately thrive after a loss.
Here’s an effective exercise to bring you greater clarity on your personal emotional intelligence:
Remember, everyone has these emotions—every sentient being on the planet. Every successful person, every great scientist, every guru and swami, every CEO, every Oscar winner, homeless person, and flight attendant. No one is immune—but perhaps they’ve done some work on themselves. You can, too. This exercise alone will destressify you as you actually learn more about who you are and how you respond to the world around you.
Cultivating your emotional intelligence will help you fulfill your Social Needs of compassion and empathy, your Esteem Needs of self-esteem and self-awareness, and your Self-actualized Need of flexibility—all important contributors to success in your life.
The next step in destressifying is mastering your capacity for conscious communication—the all-important way you share and receive information with others and yourself. Like fulfilling needs and mastering emotional intelligence, communication is a process that seems inherent but is actually a learned skill and requires cultivation to truly master.
Once you understand how to communicate nonviolently, nonverbally, and consciously, then destressifying will take hold. And as long as you continue the practice, your needs will be fulfilled, your relationships will flourish, and your life will unfold more gracefully and effortlessly.
Stress is a fact of life! So what’s all this talk about de-stressifying?
destressifying is our ability to easily adapt to stressful situations and adversity without experiencing the physical and emotional negative repercussions of stress. The most recent science has confirmed that those who deal with daily stresses as challenges rather than threats grow from them and can also more easily manage major crises with greater courage, clarity, strength, and grace. After becoming destressified, some of us even experience greater calm in the face of changes and surprises.
destressifying can easily be cultivated with a few lifestyle shifts, positive perceptions, and by using daily tools through mastery of our awareness, our needs, our emotions, our communication and our purpose. Even if you are naturally more sensitive to life’s difficulties, if you give yourself permission to embrace the teachings, you can and will destressify.
Here’s what Gabrielle Bernstein, author of “Miracles Now” says about destressifying: “davidji is a divine teacher and a soulful leader. In his book destressifying, he offers a practical guide to managing stress with grace. In a world where stress has become an epidemic, this book is a must-read. davidji’s wisdom and tools will clear the blocks to the presence of peace we all long for.” Click for more!
Where do you see yourself right now? Are you struggling, surviving, or thriving in the realm of security? How much of a control freak are you really?
It’s important to note that there is no right or wrong. Security has a different definition for each of us. But those who consistently ruminate on their bank balance, whether their car will start, whether they’ll have enough to make their monthly payments, whether their job is secure, whether they will get sick and die, and so on, are living in unnecessary pain and setting themselves up for massive stress consequences.
Even if it doesn’t impact their health, it is emotionally sucking the life out of them—and the time spent on worrying is wasted energy. When we are stuck at this level, it’s difficult to be effective at fulfilling our Social Needs, our Esteem Needs, or the needs that will truly actualize us.
If we can calmly and with a clear head go through a process of identifying our Safety Needs, prioritizing them, releasing what doesn’t serve us, and bringing into our life what we truly need, then very quickly this category of needs will be fulfilled at a higher level.
What makes you feel safe, secure, and taken care of? Is it a dependable car, a steady job, health insurance, money in the bank, a partner you can trust, a nest egg, bonding experiences, belief in yourself, faith in God, a house or apartment you are proud of, little or no debt, reassurances from your partner?
Here’s what Wayne Dyer -New York Times best-selling author- says about destressifying: “This is a very high-powered book. Stressful thinking is wreaking havoc on the lives of so many in our fast-paced world. davidji offers a comprehensive course written in a language that you can grasp and apply immediately, all within the covers of one book. I loved it and am recommitted to in-the-moment destressifying.” Click for more!
There can be deeper levels of Safety Needs, such as finding your birth mother or father, knowing your divorce is final, getting the promotion, learning your diagnosis is benign, and the like. And if you can move through the process of gaining greater clarity about your needs with a destressifying mind-set, then when you receive your “answer,” it will actually fulfill you.
Sometimes we think we want certainty so we can believe that everything is okay, but what we really want is clarity: the ability to receive the news—good or bad—and then understand the steps we need to take to meet the new need. Certainty lasts for only a little while, and then the wind blows and what we thought was carved in stone suddenly shifts or changes like sand under our feet. Clarity can support us over and over in each new situation. I’ll choose clarity any day over certainty.
To achieve greater clarity, follow these 7 steps right now to launch your self-realization process:
1. Commit to a daily meditation practice; spend at least a few minutes each morning & afternoon in stillness & silence
2. Listen to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of conformity
3. Embrace being vulnerable—start experiencing life like a child, innocently and fully present
4. Give yourself permission to try new things that allow you to veer from conventional paths
5. Speak your truth, communicate consciously, and don’t play head games with others
6. Own your impact—don’t run from your decisions, take responsibility
7. Identify your areas of resistance and defense and choose to give them up.
Here’s what Barbara DeAngelis, New York Times best-selling author Soul Shifts says about destressifying: “davidji has written a powerful, practical, and inspiring manual to help us understand and radically transform our relationship to stress. Written with a brilliant blend of clarity, compassion, and wisdom, it enlightens the mind and uplifts the heart. I highly recommend destressifying as essential reading for anyone who wants to live a more peaceful and joyful life!” Click for more!
Even your breathing can transform a stressful moment into a destressified one. When you’re feeling a bit harsh, or impatient, or judgmental, or angry… just slip into heart breathing. You can do this for a few minutes ANYTIME you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. You can practice it as a daily meditation ritual or as an in-the-moment stress buster. The clarity it brings and the sense of calm it invokes, softening to one-ness, will help you make better decisions about life, love, and purpose.
If you’re a beginning meditator, make sure that you don’t force the breath; just let it flow in and out and witness it. Use 16seconds, which is a form of four-part breathing, or simply follow your breath in and out. You can do this for as long as you like – one minute, five, ten, fifteen, thirty minutes – but start small so you don’t quickly get over-whelmed.
We began the month with a Full Moon on July 1st and now we close the month with a Blue Moon.
These full moons are bracketing all the life lessons we’ve absorbed over these past 30 days. In another kooky cosmic event, seven planets in our solar system (that’s right SEVEN!!!) will begin to slow down as they round the bend circling the sun. So the moon is full twice AND the planets are slowing down.
In celebration of this beautiful and magical cosmic occurrence, connect with the greater universe through this weekend’s guided meditation. The universe is temporarily slowing down, so you can hop aboard!
If you’ve been procrastinating, lollygagging, making excuses, putting off the big decision, delaying the inevitable – this is your invitation to connect to the silence within and be the change you want to see in the world.
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