Hello Spiritual Warriors & welcome to another edition of The Source on change!
I took a different approach to the video this week. I hope you enjoyed it. Answering common and recurring questions I get from people all over the world is helpful for all of our learning and growing processes. And it only reinforces that we are not alone!! We are the universe!!
This week on my Hay House Radio show we will explore the ancient question: Can we really change? Can we take that bold (and sometimes scary) next step toward becoming the best versions of ourselves?
Instead, I prefer to ask:
- Why do we question our power?
- What are we afraid of?
- What are the reasons we make excuses and pull ourselves back into the same conditioned and constricted behaviors?
The answer is our limiting beliefs. Even the most successful people are carrying beliefs that are self-limiting – they are just different ones from yours. It all comes down to fear of being judged, of not measuring up, of having your heart broken, or not being included. We fears that our needs of attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance will not be met. We need to know those needs WILL be met… we want them… we crave them… but we don’t want anyone else to know we fear that they wont be met.
These fears limit us! We believe their lies! We’ve embedded them into our being. And in a weak moment, we live our life from them.
Here are the most popular limiting beliefs:
1. I can’t be fully authentic.
I’m not good enough – I’m afraid of being found out. I’m afraid I will disappoint those around me. I can’t show the world who I really am because they’ll judge me in a harsh or unkind way.
2. I’m not lovable.
My dream partner will see how unattractive I really am. I’ve been burned before. I won’t risk opening my heart to love again because most likely no one will show up. (& if they do, they’ll quickly learn the truth.)
3. I’m not worthy.
I wont put myself out there because no one will notice me & if they do, I’m afraid of being turned down or rejected & ultimately judged as being a poser.
4. I’m not strong enough to be self-sufficient.
I won’t make requests of others or ask for favors because if I get rejected, I’ll appear needy or even worse – needy.
5. I’m not abundant.
The wealth of the universe is for others – it doesn’t include me. Those who look for greater riches are greedy, don’t understand karma, or aren’t spiritual. I can’t even count that high. How could I ever achieve that? I’m not that kind of person — I’m fine exactly where I am in life – I don’t need more success, so I’m not going to reach beyond where I am.
6. I’m not smart enough.
I didn’t go to Harvard or Oxford… Only those who have a fine academic pedigree can achieve. I can’t dream big because I wont attain my dreams – and that would announce to the world, that I don’t measure up.
7. I’m not valued.
I’m just a peon. People won’t cherish my trust so I can’t trust them (and if I do, they will betray me).
These are just a few; but, there are hundreds of limiting beliefs that ripple through us throughout the day… and they keep us constricted, playing small, not being our best expression. AND YET, there are also so many times throughout the day when we step into our power. Trust in the universe. Embrace our highest expression. And own our impact.
How do we make a profound change in ourselves?
The answer is – we become destressified!! A brilliant example of a destressified mind-set is exemplified by the words of the late, great ESPN anchor Stuart Scott. Reflecting on his seven-year-long battle with cancer, he said, “When you die, that does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.” Indeed, how, why, and the manner in which we live determine the fullness, grace, and beauty of every moment in our lives.
We are conditioned beings. Since we were babies, we have carved deep grooves into our brains to develop patterned responses. By simply reorienting ourselves to a few of our most fundamental behaviors, we can permanently rewire how and what we think, and transform how we respond to stress.
There are five core components to proactively destressifying, that I cover extensively in my book destressifying: The Real-World Guide to Personal Empowerment, Lasting Fulfillment, and Peace of Mind. They’re all concepts you know on the surface; but by diving deeper into their makeup and truly understanding them, owning them, and living them, you will subtly start rewiring the circuits in your brain. Very quickly, you will forge new pathways in how you think, how you perceive the world around you, and most important, how you respond to it.
These are the five core components of destressifying:
- mastering your awareness
- mastering your needs
- mastering your emotions
- mastering your communication
- mastering your purpose in life
The concept of mastery may seem intimidating, but ideally that’s how you show up for everything you do. You grasp the goal, and then you take action to get as close to it as possible. When you have attained a new level of competence, that once-dreamed-of achievement becomes the new base for your next step. Then you take that proficiency and move forward.
It’s pure personal evolution that you DO have the power to make happen! Let’s spend this week reflecting on the 5 masteries of destressifying and finally begin to let go of our constrictions and limiting beliefs to make change happen and become the best version of ourselves!
I’ll see you in the gap!! Peace. -davidji