Hello Spiritual Warrior! And welcome to the
150th edition of The Source!!
Every week, for the past 3 years, it has been my honor & pleasure to share real-world expressions of timeless wisdom with you through articles, videos & free, guided meditations. This week, we explore Destructive Emotions.
I’ve just returned from an amazing week in the Netherlands where I had a truly blessed opportunity to commune with more than 5,000 spiritual seekers in the cities of Amsterdam, The Hague & Utrecht. I spent each Way teaching at Master Classes, the Happinez Festival, & at book signings for “Zonder stress” – the hot, new Dutch translation of “destressifying.” I connected with so many students & certified teachers from around the world – our like-minded community is growing in leaps & bounds. We are truly transforming the world by transforming ourselves – and you can keep raising the vibration by sharing this post with someone.
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” –Howard Thurman
We live each moment of our life through the ebb and flow of emotions. It’s almost as if each beat of our heart, and every breath we take, move us in one direction or another. The phone rings – a feeling sparks, and a thought pours in; someone says something to us – suddenly our mood shifts and our face follows; we feel the sun on our cheek and the wind in our hair – and as memories awaken, a sensation ripples through us. We are a bundle of conditioned emotions that are primed to respond to the momentary assessment of whether our needs have been met or not.
Simply put, emotions are subjective, conscious experiences that link our interpretation of a given moment to a biological reaction creating a particular mental state. Have you ever yelled at someone — after having a tough time or a difficult encounter — over something that had nothing to do with them? Psychologists refer to this mis-direction as “emotional leakage.” When you suppress emotions, you’re likely to express them inadvertently in other avenues by being snide, sarcastic, snarky, retaliatory, biting, harsh, or downright mean to people who had nothing to do with your initial frustration. Suppressing our feelings is now scientifically proven to lead to poor memory, relationship challenges, and deeper health issues as our body is influenced so strongly by our subjective conscious experiences.
We can rise above the constriction by heightening our emotional intelligence, known as EI in many leadership, psychology and philosophy circles. EI is essentially our ability to “own” these four capabilities:
- Correctly perceive emotions
- Retrieve and produce emotions to assist thought
- Comprehend emotions and understand them, and
- Effectively adjust emotions to promote personal development and growth
If you don’t know how you feel or why you feel a certain way, you will experience emotional overwhelm or confusion and won’t be able to communicate effectively, meet your needs, or resolve disagreements. But if we master our emotional intelligence, we will flow with less stress and make better decisions. And, the more successful we are at heightening these core skill sets, the happier and more fulfilled we will be.
Before I ever shared these teachings with others, I studied emotional healing for a decade under Dr. David Simon, & attended the Hoffman Institute, where I was taught to deconstruct my emotional blue print. I then spent five years, reconstructing it. I began integrating these powerful teachings into my workshops, immersions, retreats, and Teacher Trainings where thousands have experienced emotional breakthroughs & stepped into their power.
I encourage you to join me this January at the 3rd Set Your Course Life-change Immersion where I will teach you these powerful techniques to release the emotional baggage that has often derailed our best plans. In this gentle, yet potent & proven process, together we will ensure that this year truly unfolds as the most fulfilling year of your life!
The beauty of EI is that it’s not a function of simply being born with a high EQ; our personal emotional intelligence can be learned, cultivated and mastered. Although daily intelligence is important to succeeding in life, emotional intelligence is key to achieving your goals. In this process, you will learn to meet more of your own needs!
Right now read the following list of emotions, select one & spend a minute on it. Place your hand on your heart or your solar plexus. Take a deep breath in & just watch how it makes you feel:
Affection Anger Annoyance Apathy Arousal Awe Boredom Confidence Contempt Contentment Courage Desire Despair Disappointment Disgust Distrust Dread Ecstasy Embarrassment Envy Euphoria Excitement Fear Frustration Gratitude Grief Guilt Happiness Hatred Hope Horror Hostility Hurt Hysteria Indifference Interest Jealousy Joy Loathing Loneliness Love Lust Outrage Panic Passion Pity Pleasure Pride Rage Regret Relief Remorse Sadness Satisfaction Schadenfreude Self-confidence Shame Shock Sorrow Suffering Surprise Trust
Just pick one & more deeply conjure the emotion in your mind’s eye. How does it make you feel? See if you can sit with it for a few moments and give names to the various ways it makes you feel. Take your time. Feel free to close your eyes & truly witness your emotions as they ripple through you. What does it feel like? How does you body respond?
If we are able to give names to our emotions, we will better understand them. Can you imagine all the chemicals, hormones, and neurotransmitters that are surging through you each time your needs are not met? Or when you recollect an experience?
When we notice that we are feeling a “destructive” emotion – an emotion that can actually hurt us or another person – such as shame, guilt, bitterness, hate, contempt, envy, rage, or schadenfreude (taking glee in someone else’s misfortune)… it is helpful to breathe in and name it… dive in a bit deeper into where you feel it, why you feel it, and what else is going on inside you to make you feel it. Just naming it will begin an internal conversation of the cause, relevance, need or true validity of this feeling. What sparked it… why we hold on to it… what is it revealing, etc?
It rarely is about the other person or the situation of the moment!!! It is usually more tied to our feelings of our own self worth or another issue.
So consider joining me as we Set Our Course together to make 2016 the most amazing year of our life! In the meantime, start to meditate with me each week and together we will transcend the emotional turbulence in our lives.