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Why does our need for acceptance drive so many of our decisions?

Welcome Spiritual Warriors, to this week’s edition of The Source in which we explore acceptance.

The Sacred Power of Your Ripple is fueled by four basic needs that are in constant dynamic exchange as we move through our lives – attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance.

Every day, we consciously and unconsciously, flow these ripples out into the world and receive them back in an infinite give-and-take that determines how we feel about ourselves, how others feel about us, how we interact with the world around us, and how it interacts with us.

These four ripples of the heart set the tone for every encounter you will ever experience – with yourself, others, and the environment. This week let’s explore acceptance more closely.

Our need for acceptance drives so many of our daily and life decisions. We need to feel the ripple of someone or something bigger than us. We crave this acceptance – in the grandest ways and in the smaller moments. Being invited, included, and – most importantly – being welcomed relentlessly influence our sense of worthiness.

When we were younger, we based our self-worth on whether we were accepted into various groups based on our internal assessment of how cool, relevant, or popular the group was. That hasn’t changed. Our need for support and respect from those we respect can be a powerful driving force in our lives.

Nowadays, we do this with our affiliations to schools, clubs, sports teams, religious groups, social media, political parties, nationalities, ethnicities, and cultures—it’s all about being accepted. Many of us crave acceptance so deeply that we secretly value being accepted by people we don’t even like!

When we don’t “feel” acceptance, we spend a lot of time stuck in “poor me” mode, where the power of our ripple slows to a drip. We respond to the world by feeling “less-than”—we isolate ourselves, act desperate, or behave resentfully regarding our lack of inclusion. In time this devolves into an antagonistic and ultimately victimized attitude where our ripple stops entirely.

We can spend decades trapped in the world of not feeling accepted.

So when we don’t receive the attention, affection, appreciation, or acceptance that is our birthright, we feel shame, anger, jealousy, schadenfreude (delighting in some one else’s struggle), even vengeance. That’s putting a lot of power in the hands of others. But, even worse, it paints the seed of your ripple with desperate or negative vibrations.

Feeling accepted and demonstrating acceptance of others elevates you to a higher vibration of positivity and reinforces your humanity.

The Sacred Power of Your Ripple flows through infinity; but it starts with you.

Why would you expect someone else to be accepting of you, if you don’t fully accept yourself?

We need to make a daily commitment to accept ourselves in every moment; to be kind to ourselves; to appreciate ourselves. That’s truly the only validation we need. And this begins with you truly understanding your voice.

Post your commitment in the comments below and let the ripple flow!!!

In the meantime, I’ll see you in the GAP. Peace. -davidji

(Photo by Erik Witsoe on Unsplash)

11 thoughts on “Why does our need for acceptance drive so many of our decisions?”

  1. Thank you, David, for reminding me that this acceptance starts with me – that the outer is simply a manifestation of the inner. Thank you too for all the amazing blogs and meditations you put out so freely – they are helping me unbecome back to my awesome, perfect state,

  2. This is the story of my life! I wasn’t accepted from the moment I was in my mother’s womb, to being the youngest sibling who was always run away from, and now in my adult and parental community I find myself still fighting the battle of acceptance and fighting against being a victim. Some days are better than others but lately it’s been one long day of non acceptance, so thank you for putting this clearly. I really get it now.
    Much gratitude 🙏🏾

  3. Beautiful and powerful. Now I’m off to actively apply my self acceptance so I can in turn accept others.
    Thank you for your gentleness..

  4. I am struggling at the moment. I was advised to ask myself, what can I do today to make my situation better? I found your website after hearing about you on a radio show in Ireland, I think I will be back again tomorrow. Thanks for your wise words.

  5. Just what I need. I found you on insight timer on my birthday. Anxiety is high as I plan a trip to my home town for my brother ‘s services. Claudio passed on August 4. Learning I am whole, trust and love. Acceptance is something I’m learning to be kinder to myself. As I journey to the birth place, I am grateful that you, David, are one of my teachers.

  6. I can’t believe how on point this topic was for me this week. Thank you, David. It too was a reminder for me to be kinder to myself.

  7. Thank you for this post. I really needed to hear this, I think I am going to go small today. ~hugs~

  8. I am really struggeling with this. I was not invites first to my cousins birthday and then not to my sons birthday. It really hurts

  9. I really needed to read this today. It is a direct answer to a request to the Universe. Thank you!

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