“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” -George Eliot
The Relationship Realm
Exploring the realm of relationships is mind-blowing when you think about how many diverse connections we have in our life. And whether you are close with someone, never speak with them, or can’t stand them, you are holding onto mental, emotional, time-consuming, energy regarding the relationship. But the key to this realm is the relationship you have with you. How do you treat yourself? How’s your sense of worthiness? Are you arrogant, condescending, and mean to yourself? Or, loving, forgiving, nurturing, and compassionate? As you expand the circle beyond yourself, ask, “Who’s in my front row?” – essentially, who are your die-hard supporters, your cheerleaders, and your champions? Those are the relationships you should be paying attention to. When you stumble or fall down, who is rooting for you to get back up? Who is not rooting for you? Are there people in your front row who don’t belong there? (Those not rooting for you?) Are they just taking up space in your head…in your life…blocking new champions from taking their seats in the front row? Keep widening the circle until you’ve included everyone you can think of in the exercise.
Remember, there are four things you can do with a relationship. You can:
Birth it – start new…fresh…unfettered…unconditioned…as we were born – whole, perfect, pure, and unconditioned. There are infinite possibilities – don’t box yourself in.
Repair it – ask first, “do I want to keep this damaged or wounded relationship alive?” If the answer is yes…then let go of the past, and commit to soothing the wounds, let go of grievances, forgive, forgive, forgive – forgive yourself, forgive them, make peace. If you’ve tried and it can’t be repaired, then shift it.
Shift it – If the dynamic has moved in another direction – maybe you are taking a platonic relationship or a work relationship to another level. If a boundary was crossed or the understanding has changed, then new boundaries, new understandings, new rules of engagement must be established, articulated, and agreed upon — and committed to by both parties.
End it – Since nothing on this earth ever really ends, we must make peace in our own heart, forgive ourselves, forgive them, and let go. The key to this is to release. “When we forgive, we free ourselves from the ties that bind us to the one who hurt us.”
Join me this week on Hay House Radio and we’ll take it deeper.In the meantime, be gentle with yourself and keep meditating. I’ll see you in the gap!