Welcome to a new week, and new edition of The Source!
The Sacred Power of Your Ripple is fueled by four basic needs that are in constant dynamic exchange as we move through our lives – attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance. Every day, we consciously and unconsciously, flow these ripples out into the world and receive them back in an infinite give-and-take that determines how we feel about ourselves, how others feel about us, how we interact with the world around us, and how it interacts with us.
These four ripples of the heart set the tone for every encounter you will ever experience – with yourself, others, and the environment.
We all want to be seen. We all want to be looked at. We struggle so hard to receive eye contact even if it’s fleeting. This is where we get validated for simply existing. We sense it. We value it. We need it. And every one you interact with needs it too. Attention is the starting point for the Sacred Power of Your Ripple. It’s the “I see you” moment.
A bit deeper than attention is affection. We all want to receive a physical display of that validation—a wink, a nod, a smile, a hug, a kiss, a squeeze, or a kind word. It distills that distant attention we crave down to a level of closeness, where we experience someone’s warmth or fondness for us. The Sacred Power of Your Ripple has the ability to flow affection throughout the world at the basic level of kindness and the deeper expression of love.
One step deeper than affection is appreciation—moving from a kind word or gesture to genuine gratitude. We all want to be thanked, recognized, and acknowledged. We all want to feel that we have added value to the moment, task, project, or mission at hand. Appreciation is more overt or public acknowledgment of a good deed, a job well done, or an important contribution. And yet, it can be as simple as a “thank you” from a stranger when you held the door open for them.
When you demonstrate appreciation, you elevate another’s sense of self-worth. Miraculously, this also elevates your own!
Areas of our life where we don’t feel appreciated cause us extreme struggle and result in a wide range of emotions. Right now there is probably something you worked hard on, or a gift you gave someone and you did not receive the thanks or gratitude you were expecting. And now it haunts you. This little irritant resting under the surface can influence and impact your daily anxiety, anger, or irritation. Multiply that by the thousands of little ripples you are sending out into the world, and you can see the impact of the Sacred Power of Your Ripple on every relationship in your life.
The Ripple of Appreciation
We are rippling in every moment. Humans are totally dependent on the feedback of their friends, siblings, parents, teachers, co-workers, bosses, and everyone else with whom they come into contact. Every decision we make is done with the hope of some level of acknowledgment that we’ve added value. Every one of us still craves the ripple of appreciation.
It’s our external validator that we are connected to and making a difference in the lives of others. If we don’t receive that validation, it can scar us forever. And when you don’t flow the ripple of appreciation, it can wound another eternally as well.
Our need for acceptance drives so many of our daily and life decisions. We need to feel the ripple of someone or something bigger than us. We crave this acceptance – in the grandest ways and in the smaller moments. Being invited, included, and – most importantly – being welcomed relentlessly influence our sense of worthiness.
When we were younger, we based our self-worth on whether we were accepted into various groups based on our internal assessment of how cool, relevant, or popular the group was. That hasn’t changed. Our need for support and respect from those we respect can be a powerful driving force in our lives. Nowadays, we do this with our affiliations to schools, clubs, sports teams, religious groups, social media, political parties, nationalities, ethnicities, and cultures—it’s all about being accepted. Many of us crave acceptance so deeply that we secretly value being accepted by people we don’t even like!
When we don’t “feel” acceptance, we spend a lot of time stuck in “poor me” mode, where the power of our ripple slows to a drip. We respond to the world by feeling “less-than”—we isolate ourselves, act desperate, or behave resentfully regarding our lack of inclusion. In time this devolves into an antagonistic and ultimately victimized attitude where our ripple stops entirely. We can spend decades trapped in the world of not feeling accepted.
So when we don’t receive the attention, affection, appreciation, or acceptance that is our birthright, we feel shame, anger, jealousy, schadenfreude (delighting in some one else’s struggle), even vengeance. That’s putting a lot of power in the hands of others. But, even worse, it paints the seed of your ripple with desperate or negative vibrations. Feeling accepted and demonstrating acceptance of others elevates you to a higher vibration of positivity and reinforces your humanity.
So, this week try the simple exercise I talk about in the video and watch the results of your ripple!
Why not say how you feel? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best that could happen?
Leave your experience with this little exercise in the comments, or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.