“When all of your desires are distilled, you will have but two choices: to love more and to be happy.” –Hafiz
At some point in your life, your heart was broken. Maybe you were very young or maybe you’re there right now. If you are experiencing emotional pain – first of all know that you are not alone. Everyone has their heart broken at some point. My heart has been broken many times, but I now know the tools and techniques to soothe the hurt, heal the wounds, forgive myself and others, and love again.
When we open our hearts wide, we experience the true magnificence of life. But once you’ve been wounded, your desire to trust and your ability to love again can get constricted. So much so that some people choose to stay in that space and the walls around their heart become hardened. They respond to life with resentment; they seal themselves in bitterness; they become suspicious, jaded, and antagonistic regarding others’ motives; their sadness becomes their normal emotion; and they immerse themselves deeper into their “story” which then becomes the immovable reality.
Opening our heart is never easy – especially when there’s been a heartbreak that has shut us down and allowed us to build walls to protect the tenderness of our heart. In several of my heart-healing workshops, I teach many different methods of emotional release and rejuvenation. But RIGHT NOW, you can take some easy nourishing steps to feel again…to love again…and to let love back in:
1) We need to give ourselves permission to begin the process. You don’t have to give in or forgive someone (or even yourself) – but simply granting yourself permission to go to your heart is a HUGE STEP. It actually starts with you saying out loud, “I give myself permission to begin the process of opening my heart again.”
2) Accepting that you are entitled to receive unconditional love is critical. You are so worthy…so deserving to receive the love of the divine creator…the love of the universe…the love of others. Remind yourself throughout the day, “I am worthy. I am whole. I am a product of the divine creator.”
3) Acknowledging that HERE YOU ARE in this precious sacred moment and whatever broke your heart or continues to ache it…have brought you to this moment where you can love again…and feel love again. When you start to question everything around you, use the mantra “I TRUST. I TRUST. I TRUST”
4) Appreciating your environment – having gratitude for the world around you allows you take your attention off of your “oh poor me” mindset and allows you to ask, “How can I serve others?” Reach out to a person who is suffering or a cause that could use your support.
5) Having compassion is empathy plus rooting for someone’s pain and suffering to end. Having self-compassion (yes, rooting for yourself) and willing to forgive yourself for any big or little sins you’ve been beating yourself up over will allow you to step through your current pain which is holding you back. As Rabbi Hilel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?”
6) Sharing love with others…flowing love into the world in every moment…living life with a Namaste mindset offers you an opportunity to BE THE CHANGE with very little risk to your tenderness. Text someone right now and tell them, “Thinking about you & sending love”.
7) And lastly…celebrate! Celebrate your little wins…your small successes. Party! And congratulate yourself for leaning in the direction of LOVE. And watch the healing unfold.
I was fortunate to have spent a decade under the tutelage of David Simon M.D. – a compassionate Sufi master – who each day shared with me his timeless wisdom of heart healing and emotional freedom. Under his guidance, I attended The Hoffman Quadrinity Process and immersed in Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication teachings. For many years, I was privileged to co-facilitate Healing the Heart – his emotional release workshop at the Chopra Center. If your heart is hurting and you are seeking emotional freedom, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and allow me to guide you to some healing resources. In the meantime, keep meditating. Be gentle. And allow the process of your heart to open. I’ll see you in the gap! Peace. -davidji